There’s a reason the title of this blog starts with “documenting the journey”. I’m nowhere near an expert on any of the things listed there. I decided to take a tally of where I am now, beginning this process, so later I can look back and see where I’ve come from.

Here in part 4, I’ll talk about enlightenment. Where I am now, and where I want to be.

Where I am now

• I’m your basic unenlightened person. A bit better than average, I hope, but definitely no yogi on a mountaintop. I’m a scorpio, we tend towards great amounts of emotional strength, though not necessarily stability.
• I’ve made peace with my childhood and I don’t blame my parents for anything anymore, they did the best they knew how.
• I am quite happy with my religion, but I still think there’s a component missing so I am searching for that missing peace. Currently I’m exploring the Dharma of the Buddha, and while I will not become a Buddhist, I can see where the ideas of the Dharma can fit into my life.
• I am unhappy at my job, and I’m seeking to change that but not doing very well. I am trying to find a true vocation where I can also make enough money to support my family, and feel that I’m working in a field that follows my own values and enhances the world in some small way.
• I am usually either rushing like a madwoman or vegging in front of the TV/a good book. There is no happy medium. I am rather happy with my general home life, and find it’s where I’m the strongest.

Where I want to be

• Able to enjoy my life as I live it, not fly past it at breakneck speed because I’m trying to play “catch-up”
• Able to weather the continuing emotional storm from other people in my life, and hopefully help them to find some peace.
• Able to handle the ups and downs of life with more grace.
• Able to adjust my life so I can feel fulfilled.

Anything about my current state sound familiar in your life, things you also want to improve upon?